


The Distance In Your Stare

by i_amthecosmos



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Carlos gets left alone, Carlos tries so hard, Cruella is almost a lost cause, Distant Parent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hugging, Kissing, M/M, Narcissism, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Abuse, hospital stay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: Carlos tries to reconnect with his mom. Directly after the events in Descendants 3.





	The Distance In Your Stare

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of issues with the ending of D3, so I wrote this to deal with them. What if you try your best to have a relationship with a parent, and they don't give anything back? So that's what we've got here.

Carlos’s first visit to see his mother was a nightmare. 

He walked through the door of Hell House to see his mother in the living room, with TV on, watching the celebration of the reunification of the Isle and Auradon. She just stared straight ahead, until Carlos cleared his throat to get her attention.

“You’re late with my order,” Cruella said. “And tell your brother to get over here to clean the house, it’s been ages.” She wasn’t even looking over. 

“Sorry mom, it’s me.” Carlos winced internally. Five seconds into seeing his mom and he was already apologizing. He took another step inside.

Cruella turned to look at him. For a full minute she said nothing, just gazed at him, looking surprised, then sulky. “Well. You didn’t exactly go through with the plan, did you? Probably just as well. Maleficent would have taken the whole thing over. I’m glad she’s a lizard.” 

“The barrier’s gone, mom,” Carlos said. “You can leave any time you want now. I just wanted to see you.” 

“I thought you couldn’t wait to get away from me, darling.” She sucked on her cigarette holder. “And I know I can leave, I’m not a fool. But I’m not giving them the satisfaction of seeing me crawl back. My house is here! I’m not going to go there. What would they do? Probably stick me in an ugly apartment somewhere. Force me into counseling.”

Carlos took another step inside. “Can I sit down?” She glared at him again. 

“You’re a grown boy now, do what you like.” Carlos shut the door behind him, and sat down, out of reach just in case. Cruella looked back at the TV. “Did you come here to rub it in my face? That you’re so much better off without me?” 

“I came because I missed you.” Cruella stared ahead, expressionless. “I do. I never thought I would, but yeah. I wanted you to see that I was doing okay.” Carlos watched her even as she avoided his gaze. “I’ve got another year at school, then I go to whatever college I want. I have a girlfriend, and my dog. I’m doing just fine.” 

“And your friends.” Cruella put out her cigarette. “Well darling, I was never good at keeping friends, or husbands, so I suppose I’ll leave that to you.” She stood up. “I don’t have much. I suppose the barrier going down means I can actually buy teabags that aren’t used now.” 

“I can bring you food, if you want.” Carlos didn’t react to the fact that she didn’t say she was proud of him, or even commented much at all. As usual, it was all about her. “I’ll be back. My girlfriend wants to meet you.” 

“Can’t imagine why.” Cruella looked through her cabinets. “Don’t go yet darling. If you’re coming here, I should offer you something.” Then she looked through them and sighed. “Well. Maybe next time.” Then she slowly went back to her seat. Carlos could see she was much slower now. She’d aged a lot in three years. “You said you’re coming back. Are you going to help me? Or should I keep paying Diego’s little friend to clean my house?”

Carlos swallowed the anger burning in his throat. “I didn’t come here to work for free, mom. I’ve done enough of that for one lifetime.” He saw the look in her eyes right before she reached out, and jumped out of his seat. “Mom, no. I’m leaving now. I’ll come by to check on you, but you’re not going to hit me.” 

“You think you’re so clever,” Cruella said. “Go then!” 

Carlos didn’t wait to be told twice.

…

After thinking it over, Carlos came back a week later. This time he brought two sacks of groceries, Jane, and Dude. 

His mother didn’t seem to have moved from her chair. She was watching TV again, a new program about the Reunification process. She barely glanced over as they all came in. When she did, she just stared blankly.

“Well, you weren’t lying,” she finally said. “You did come back.” She stood up slowly, and looked at them. “You said you wouldn’t work for me anymore, but you don’t seem to mind doing errands.” Carlos flinched. “Be a dear and put that up in the kitchen. My hands aren’t what they used to be.”

Carlos looked at them. Cruella’s hands were shaking, a slight palsy but noticeable. “Now, who is this?” Carlos headed toward the kitchen, but kept an eye on his mother. 

“I’m Jane,” she said. Jane immediately smiled at his mother, twinkling with happiness. “Fairy Godmother’s daughter. I’m Carlos’s girlfriend.” Carlos went to the kitchen and put things up quickly. When he came back, he saw Cruella holding Jane’s chin between her bony fingers. Jane was standing completely still, shocked.

“Well look at you, you’re just lovely,” she said. “You have beautiful eyes.” Then she let go. “Well-fed too. They must have nice food at Auradon Prep. Tell me, is that Italian place still open? There was one near the school.” Carlos walked over and stood next to her, knowing Jane was sensitive about her body. “Can one of you make the tea? I’m exhausted.”

Carlos wanted to say _From sitting around all day?_ but he swallowed it. “Dude, come,” he said. And they all went to the kitchen. Jane was shaking. He whispered in her ear. “Don’t let her push you around,” he said. “You stand up to her if she’s mean. You understand?” Jane nodded but tears threatened to fall. “No. Do not cry. She sees that as weakness. Stay in here and pull yourself together. I’ll make the tea.” He kissed Jane’s cheek and got the tea bags.

Jane nodded and took some deep breaths. Dude stayed by her as Carlos fixed a pot of tea with Cruella’s old china, and brought them in with a tin of cookies. “Thank you,” Cruella said, a bit absently. She was watching TV again. She took a sip, then looked at Carlos. “You remembered how I took it.”

“Yeah,” Carlos said. He didn’t mention that he couldn’t forget, she’d screamed at him about it so many times. About how there was no fresh milk, and this was somehow his fault. He went to sit down, Jane next to him. Dude hid under their legs.

Cruella didn’t say much, just drank her tea and ate a few cookies. “Thank you for that,” she said. “I’ve been so weak lately.” Then she stared at the screen for a minute. “Have you seen Diego? I know he’s missed you.”

“Yeah,” Carlos said, glad for an ice breaker. “He’s gotten a job at a clothing boutique near the school. His whole band has come over as well. He comes by a lot, brings me lunch. It’s good to have him, since the others are leaving school.” 

Cruella sniffed. “Yes. Evie was my favorite of that bunch I admit. Although Mal is very strong, like her mother.” Cruella looked over at Jane. “You like Carlos the best, I imagine.” Jane’s eyes sparkled and she squirmed in her seat, wanting to talk. 

Cruella, true to form, didn’t give her a chance, and just went on a tangent about something she’d seen on TV. When she was done, she seemed to be exhausted. Jane looked over, confused. Carlos sighed and got up. 

“I’ll wash up the tea stuff before I go.”

Cruella was already almost asleep. “Said you wouldn’t,” she muttered. 

“I fixed it though. And you’re really tired.” He took the cups and saucers to the kitchen. As he cleaned them, he could hear Jane try to start conversation. When he came back, she was chattered about small things that had happened in school. But Cruella seemed to be barely awake. Carlos touched Jane’s arm.

“We should go now.” Jane blinked, surprised. Carlos had to smile-Jane loved to talk, and was trying hard to connect with his mother. It wasn’t her fault that Cruella was not willing to meet her halfway. In fact, she seemed to be snoring. Carlos got Jane and Dude, who his mother had not even looked at. His feelings were hurt, but he supposed that was the best of the options.

“Goodbye mom. I’ll bring more groceries later.”

…

He kept in touch with Cruella through phone calls. She still had her old rotary, and now it took calls from Auradon. Mostly, she just gave him grocery orders and refused to talk about the past at all. It was frustrating. Evie would soothe him when he told her.

“It’s the same with my mom. She won’t admit she ever did anything wrong. She hates Doug because he’s not a prince. She says having my own business is going to make me stoop over and destroy my looks. The only good part is when she likes the clothes I make her.”

“Well, I guess we can keep trying.” He knew that Jay had given up after one visit. Jafar had felt like starting a fight, and Jay ducked out when Jafar threw a broken coffee maker at him. He’d left for his trip soon after. As for Mal, her mom was still a lizard, somehow. Her and Hades seemed to be getting along all right though.

Maybe that was why he still had hope. Maybe there was still some good in Cruella. 

…

Carlos was getting more concerned about Cruella every time he went over. She seemed to sleep a lot, and rarely moved from her chair. When she did move, it was slow and halting. Her hands shook all the time. 

“Mom,” he said one day, over their tea. Jane and Dude weren’t with him, so it was only the two of them. “I’m worried about you. I can take you to a doctor, if you want.” Cruella thought about it, then shook her head. “Why not?”

“I don’t trust them. They might try to lock me up in some dreadful hospital. I know they think I’m insane. So no. I know something’s wrong with me. But Auradon doctors...” she trailed off. “They always think they know best. They’ll try to fix things you don’t want fixed.”

“You know,” Carlos said. “I’m almost eighteen. When I am, I can advocate for you, and recommend you not be hospitalized for...that.” Carlos took a sip of his tea while Cruella looked away, as always. Every time Carlos demonstrated that he cared for her, she would shut down. 

“They’d still want to medicate me. Make me sit in a room with someone with horrible fashion sense and bad shoes, asking me about my feelings. I don’t have any. I locked them away years ago.” Cruella stubbed out her cigarette. “And I know what you think of me.”

“What? Carlos was taken aback by the sudden change. “You mean how you treated me?” 

“Of course, what else would I mean? You think you had it rough? I was much, much kinder to you than my parents were to me!” She knocked her teacup to the floor, breaking it. Carlos jumped out of his seat. He was in the corner with his arms up before he even knew what he was doing. “You think you’re the only person with problems, you’re not!”

Carlos slowly lowered his arms, and took a deep breath. “I don’t think that,” Carlos said, after he’d calmed down enough to talk. “I grew up in a fucking prison, mom. All of my friends had problems. And I hadn’t been charged with anything, all I did was get born. So no, I don’t think that. But...” Carlos paced the room, reciting the periodic table under his breath for a minute. “You don’t want to be helped, and I can see you’re weak.” 

“Don’t bring that up,” she snapped. Then she looked away, and Carlos saw her expression soften.

“It wasn’t the same after you left,” she said. “I lost track of time. When you were here, there was a schedule, a way to know. But then you were gone and the weeks just got away from me.” She got another cigarette from her pack. “So darling, if you want to know if I missed you, the answer is yes. But maybe not the way you wanted me to.”

Carlos stared at her. Maybe there really wasn’t anything there. Maybe loving his mom was a terrible idea. But...Auradon liked to say that the people who were the most unlovable needed it the most. Carlos took another deep breath, and cleaned the broken cup. Then he wiped up the tea, and put the tea towel in a hamper. Then he walked towards the door.

“I love you mom. I’ll be back in a week.” 

Cruella looked at him, expressionless. Then she nodded. “Call before you come.” 

“I will.” Then he got out of there.  
…

He did call before the next week, but Cruella didn’t answer. He called again an hour later, thinking maybe she’d gone out. No answer. A third call. No answer.

Carlos had gotten himself a new motorcycle, and he decided this would be a good time to use it. The traffic on the bridge to the Isle wasn’t too bad, so he got to Hell House pretty quickly. He banged on the door. No answer. He used his key.

“Mom!” Cruella was crumpled on the floor, in front of her chair. Carlos rushed over, and pressed his fingers against her neck. There was a pulse, but it seemed weak. Her skin was so thin Carlos thought he might leave bruises just from that. Then he pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. He held her in his arms as she moaned. 

“I’ve got you mom. I’ve got you.” Up close she smelled like French perfume and cigarette smoke, and Carlos held on. Eventually, one of her claw like hands moved to his back, and tangled in his shirt. 

“Are they coming?” she said, and Carlos let out a sob. 

“They’re coming mom.” 

The ambulance arrived, and Carlos saw the blank look of disgust on the face of one EMT. The other one just sighed and put Cruella on the gurney. Carlos got in, and held her hand. One of the EMT’s shouted to his co-worker “Looks like a bad break. Hope it hurts.” Carlos said nothing, just held his mom’s hand. 

The hospital was slightly more welcoming. At least at first. Cruella was diagnosed with a broken leg, and got a cast. Then the doctor took Carlos aside. 

“Are you old enough to be her power of attorney?” Carlos shook his head. “Does she have any other relatives?”

“My cousin Diego,” Carlos said. “He’s old enough, but just barely.” 

“That’s good, if you can, text him and say he’s needed.” The doctor looked agitated. 

“What’s wrong? I might not be able to make decisions, but I want to know.” The doctor took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“She seems very weak. I want to run some blood tests. I can do this without her permission, but If it’s what I think, I’ll need someone to sign off on treatment.” 

“I can tell you now she won’t like that,” Carlos said. Then he texted Diego, telling them what hospital they were in. “And she’s not in a coma, so can’t she make her own medical decisions?” The doctor stared at him. “What?”

“We both know she’s insane,” he said. Carlos felt tears start in his eyes, even though he’d known that most of his life. “When she was sent to the Isle she was formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and alcoholism. And she received no care, even though my mentor advised for it.” That got Carlos to stare at him, open-mouthed. “Yes, some of us were against the lack of medical care provided to the Isle. We were outvoted.” 

Carlos could feel the tears down his face, but he couldn’t move. “I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “You’re underage, I shouldn’t be burdening you with this.”

“Well, I know she’s sick,” he said, trying to get a hold of himself. “But I never knew the last part. I’m glad somebody thought of that, at least.” Then he turned when he heard his mother giving a nurse an earful because she wanted a cigarette. “Oh boy,” he said. “Excuse me.” He went to his mother’s room. 

Diego got there about a half hour later. He immediately gave Carlos a hug, then turned to Cruella. “Hi auntie. They want me to help with the medical decisions, since Carlos can’t do it. Is that okay with you?”

“Well darling, seems I have no choice,” she said. “But do what you feel is best. I don’t really care.” Then Cruella lay back. “Have they given me any pain medication?” Carlos looked at her IV’s.

“Some. Nothing too strong.” Cruella scoffed.

“Darling, I’ve been drinking a bottle of vodka every day for years, this won’t touch it.” 

“Thanks for reminding me,” Diego said, and left the room.

“What do you think he’s going to do?” Cruella said. Carlos didn’t answer, but he had an idea. When a scared nurse came in and gave Cruella some medications, Carlos wondered if Diego let them know they might need to try to prevent some withdrawal symptoms. For the nurse’s sake, he hoped they worked.

An hour or so later, someone came in to get blood. Cruella complained the whole time, but wasn’t violent or angry. “Wonder what they’re checking for.”

“I know the doctor was worried about your weakness,” Carlos said. His mother didn’t say anything. Then she tried to find the remote for the TV. Carlos had to take the nurse call button out of her hands, and get her the actual remote. Then she turned on a soap, and laid back to rest.

…

They got the results the next day. Carlos came after school after the doctor requested that he and Diego be there. The doctor that had talked to Carlos was there, looking at the three of them. Diego and Carlos were on either side of Cruella’s bed. “I have bad news.”

“Well then. Get on with it.” Cruella looked at him with defiance. 

“I checked your blood, and you turned up positive for cancer.” Carlos couldn’t hear after that, the blood in his ears rushing too fast. The only thing keeping him tethered to reality was his mother’s grip on his hand. 

“So, what treatments are available?” That was Diego. Carlos looked, and Diego was cool as a cucumber, looking at the doctor. Carlos looked at his mom, and she seemed calm. Only the death grip she had on his hand gave away any anxiety.

“Well, first we want to do an MRI, see where the cancer is coming from,” the doctor said. “How long have you been smoking, Ms. de Vil?”

Cruella looked at him, and didn’t say anything for a minute. Then, “Since I was fifteen.” 

“Okay,” he said. “We’re going to look at your lungs first, then.” Cruella said nothing, but slowly eased her grip on Carlos’s hand. “Do you have any questions, Ms. de Vil?”

“Yes,” she said. “Where can I get a drink in here?” She stared at him, defiant. Carlos and Diego looked over at each other and shook their heads. The doctor just stared. “Sorry doctor,” she said. “I’m not frightened. If you expected me to be, I’m sorry. It’s not like I thought I would live forever, you see. But yes, do your little tests.” 

Diego spoke up. “I’ll go over the results with her. And decide on a treatment.” Cruella glared at him. 

“I won’t have chemotherapy darling, just know that now. I’m not losing my hair.” 

“I know Aunt Cruella,” Diego said, and Cruella seemed to calm down. “But we’ll see what else they can do.” Diego turned to the doctor. “When is the test scheduled?” 

“We’re clearing out time today, should be a couple of hours.” Then he was gone, and Carlos stumbled into a seat. He could feel the tears in his eyes. He sat and sniffled for a few minutes. When he looked up, Cruella was trying not to look at him. Diego came over and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” Diego said. “Go back to school. I’ve got it from here. You can come back tomorrow.” Carlos waited a minute before he stood up. Diego helped him, then gave him a hug.

“Do you want anything, mom?” Carlos said. She was watching TV, but she did look over.

“Be a dear and fetch some of my books, will you? I can’t hold them well, but maybe you could read to me. Just bring them whenever you come back, darling.” Carlos nodded and touched his mother’s hand before he left. 

When he got outside, he sat on a bench and cried. He texted Evie to come get him, he didn’t trust himself to drive. He’d have to come back for his motorcycle later. Then he called Jane. Then he started to call Jay, then paused.

Jay had left with Gil. He’d gone exploring, despite the fact that the two of them didn’t have two cents to rub together. Despite the fact that Jay had basically told his full ride at Sherwood to fuck off. Despite the fact that he just decided, on a _whim_, to take off with fucking Gil of all people. Carlos stared at his phone. Could he even reach Jay, wherever he was? He doubted it. 

Carlos sat there, phone in hand, tears drying on his face, until Evie came to get him. 

…

The next time Carlos came to the hospital, Diego met him in the lobby. “Come over here. Better you hear it from me first.” Carlos started shaking right away. “Okay, maybe sit down.” They sat down on a couch that was far away from the center of the lobby, away from others. 

Diego took a deep breath. “Aunt Cruella has lung cancer, it’s inoperable, and it’s spread. To like, a lot of places. She’s got some other things too, like a palsy from drinking so much, but that’s not important. All they can really do at this point is try to extend her life with radiation therapy, and chemo, which she doesn’t want. She said she’d consider the radiation. I can override her, but I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?” Carlos said. He felt numb inside, his emotions shut down. “Don’t you want to save her?”

Diego squeezed Carlos’s hand. “But that’s the thing-we can’t,” he said. Carlos closed his eyes. “Even if she took everything they can offer, it would only prolong it by a few months. They can’t even promise her a year.” Diego sighed, and Carlos watched him shake his head. Diego was facing forward, not looking at him directly. It reminded him of his mom. “I know you want to reconcile with her. I’m honestly not sure why. She’s my aunt, but I know how she is.” Diego let go of Carlos’s hand and stood up. 

“Did you bring her books?” Carlos shook his head. “Go back to the Isle and get some. It’s the only thing she really seems to care about right now.” Carlos stood up. Diego came over, and hugged him gently. He was still getting used to showing affection, but Carlos loved his hugs all the same. 

“I’ll see in you a couple of hours,” Carlos said. Diego waved, and then Carlos got on his bike and headed to the Isle.

He tried not to think about his mother on the drive over the bridge. He couldn’t cry while he was driving. Going back into Hell House was hard, though. He made his way back to his mom’s library. The books were surprisingly well-kept. Not much insect damage, no water damage. She’d cared for them. Unlike him.

He stopped thinking about that. It wouldn’t help right now. He took his bag out and grabbed a few that he knew she liked. Poetry, Gothic novels, Shakespeare, philosophy. When he’d filled his knapsack, he stood on the porch for a moment. The Isle was changing. Most people had left, but the ones who decided to stay were fixing the place up, planting gardens now that they had sunlight. They were painting their houses pastel colors, which would have been unheard of before. The Isle wasn’t lost anymore.

Carlos locked up, then rode back. 

It was getting late when he got back to the hospital. Cruella was asleep, but he sat next to her. She didn’t have any makeup, and was wearing a turban over her hair. She still looked good, despite everything. After a while, her eyelids fluttered open. 

“Hey mom,” he said. “I brought your books.” She nodded. “Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Some,” She she looked over at him. “When they realized how serious it was, they gave me stronger painkillers. I guess they don’t care anymore if they’re addictive. It won’t matter soon enough.” Cruella looked over at him. “Diego told you, didn’t he.”

Carlos nodded. “Yeah, he did.” Carlos didn’t know what else to say. He reached for his mom’s hand, but she moved it. “What?” 

“Not now. You brought my books, didn’t you?” Carlos nodded. “Could you read to me? Until I have to sleep again. Just pick anything.” Then she laid back, closing her eyes.

Carlos picked a volume of English poetry and read it, keeping it up even after he was sure she was asleep. After a while, he finally quit, and texted Evie and Jane. Then, without expecting a reply, sent an e-mail to Jay, explaining everything. 

Then he sat there a while, trying to decide if he should spend the night or go back to the school. He’d sent FG a message, but he had no idea if she’d gotten it. He probably wouldn’t get in much trouble, with his good record. But, still.

He wished he could ask Mal what to do. But she was so busy being almost queen that she just didn’t have much time for him. And he knew for a fact that she wasn’t happy with him trying so hard to engage his mom. “She’s not worth it,” she said, even as she built a relationship with her father out of nothing.

Carlos got up then, and patted Cruella’s hand. “Love you mom,” he whispered. She stayed asleep. 

…

The next few weeks were a blur. Carlos knew he attended classes, but couldn’t remember much about them. FG was understanding, and let him leave during the day to go see Cruella. His fellow students were less understanding. 

_She’s evil_

_She abused you_

_She doesn’t deserve you being so nice_

The worst part was Carlos couldn’t really deny it. He just kept saying the same thing. “She’s my mom. She’s my mom.” That got him some sympathy, but he noticed some other students started being distant.

Carlos visited his mom nearly every day. Some days, she was too tired to really act out. But other days Carlos would hear about her throwing her lunch at the nurses, or screaming at them. The staff hated her back-the nurses had taken to wearing scrubs with pictures of dogs on them. His mother never flinched when she saw the scrubs, just ignored the nurses like they were beneath her. 

Jane stuck by him. She only visited Cruella a few times herself. But when she did, she would read to her. Cruella complained about Jane speaking too fast, so Jane made herself go slower. That got her a pat on the hand. 

“You have a lovely reading voice darling, when you slow down.” Jane smiled, although the backhanded compliment wasn’t what she was used to. Then she looked over at Carlos. “Do you think you can bring another one of my wigs over? Are you fixing them?”

“Evie fixed the last one,” he said. “She’s very good at that.” 

“I’m sure she is,” Cruella said. Then she looked between him and Jane. “Jane darling, I’d like to speak to Carlos alone please.” 

“Oh. Okay, I’ll be in the lobby, it was good to see you.” Jane tried to kiss Cruella’s cheek, but she flinched away, patting Jane’s hand again. “Oh, sorry.” Then Jane was gone. 

Cruella pointed to the chair that Jane had been sitting in, and Carlos took the seat. Cruella looked bad that day. She had given up on radiation therapy after two treatments, and was getting no other care except pain medication. She had been moved to the hospice ward. She had dwindled to nearly bones. She looked exhausted.

“I wanted to have a talk with you, darling,” she said. “You know Diego is in charge of my estate.”

“Yes mom,” Carlos said. Diego had talked to him about it.

“I suppose you don’t want to live in the house.” Carlos shook his head. No way would he stay there.“Well, I’m leaving it to you, to sell and split the money with your cousin. Or maybe Diego could live in it. Or you could sell it to Auradon. They’re probably love to make it into a museum.” Cruella sighed. “You get any of my books that you want. I know you liked them when you were little.” 

“Yeah,” Carlos said, smiling. He’d liked the books that took him to another world, off the island. Cruella nodded, then looked away.

“I want to ask you something, and it’s probably none of my business.” Cruella looked back at him. “Jane is a lovely girl. But...why is she your girlfriend?” Carlos stared at her. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean, Carlos Oscar de Vil. You spent every day for years attached to Jafar’s boy, and now you haven’t even mentioned him once.” 

Carlos felt his throat grow dry. He had no idea that Cruella knew about that. But, of course she did. His mom was very clever. “He left. He decided to go exploring the world with Gil. I didn’t try to stop him. I didn’t think I had the right.”

“You never told him did you?” Carlos shook his head, closing his eyes against the tears. “Carlos, you need to do something. You’re a de Vil, you need to go after what you want. I know everyone thinks I’m a monster, that I’m heartless, but I always went after what I wanted!” 

Carlos put his head in his hands, the tears flowing. After a minute, he felt one of Cruella’s hands in his hair. He stiffened up, expecting a slap or his hair pulled. But instead, she just stroked her hand through it. After a minute, she stopped. When he looked up, Cruella seemed slightly embarrassed to have shown him affection.

“I’m in no position to give relationship advice,” she said. “But you need to do something. When Jay gets back, you talk to him. You hear me? You tell him something. And it might be best to let that sweet girl go. But again, you’re nearly an adult now. Do what you think is best.” 

Carlos looked back up at his mother. She had a strange expression on her face, like she didn’t know him. In a way, that was very true. “I never knew how to treat you,” she said. “I was raised by a governess, what did I know?” Then she looked away.

Carlos wiped the tears from his face. “I want you to know I forgive you,” he said. Cruella didn’t look at him. “I know you’ll never say you’re sorry, and you might not even know what I’m talking about. But I do.” 

Cruella didn’t say anything. Carlos hadn’t expected her too. Instead, she closed her eyes. “I can go now,” he said. “If you need to sleep.” He took his mother’s hand. She squeezed it once, and then let go. “Goodbye.” Carlos went to the door and looked at her. She was already asleep. He left then.

…

Cruella died two days later. Carlos wasn’t there, he had left the hospital the night before. Diego came to school to tell him. Carlos knew he should probably feel guilt about not being there, but he was too numb too. He loved his mom, he would miss some things about her, but he was glad it was over. 

Diego, ever steady in his role as executor, planned a modest funeral. Most of Cruella’s money was long gone, but she had a tiny funeral insurance that Carlos didn’t know about. Carlos mostly just nodded along with whatever Diego wanted to do. They decided not to have a viewing. Carlos doubted anyone would want to come. 

Jane was with him, of course. Carlos just wanted to get through the funeral and the reading of the will, but he thought he should speak to Jane first. So he did, outside at school. “Jane...I need to talk to you.” 

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” Carlos shook his head. “Are you mad at me?” Carlos shook his head again. “Because you look like you want to break up with me.”

Carlos sighed. “I haven’t been honest,” he said. “I think you’re amazing, adorable, and you’re so pretty. But I’m stuck on someone else. It’s not your fault.” 

Jane sat there, stunned. “Do I know who it is? Carlos nodded. “Tell me. Dammit, if you’re breaking up with me, tell me.” She looked angry, and Carlos was reminded that she was a fairy. One that could fuck him up if she wanted to. 

“It’s Jay,” Carlos said. Jane stared at him wide-eyed, and suddenly the angry deflated out of her. “I don’t feel right, asking you to help me through this when I can’t love you the way you need me to. I need to just…let it go. Let you go find someone better.” 

“I guess I always wondered,” Jane said. “But you’ve been so sweet to me. I guess I figured Jay was just your crush. But I noticed...you haven’t been the same since he left. So I’m not surprised. And I’m not mad. You were a great first boyfriend, Carlos. And I’m gonna sit next to you at the funeral anyway.”

“You will?” Carlos stared at her in wonder.

“Yeah. I won’t let you do this alone.” Then she squeezed his hand. “When this is over, we can just walk away. Tell my mom we had different interests. But we’ll still be friends, right?” 

“Well, yeah. Of course. I meant what I said, you’re wonderful.” Carlos looked down, his eyes watering. “Mom said you were nice.” Jane looked amazed. “Yeah, she did.” He didn’t mention that his mother often thought niceness a weakness. She didn’t seem to mean it that way with Jane, at any rate. 

“I didn’t think she liked me.” Carlos wiped a tear away.

“I guess she liked you as much as she could like anyone.” Carlos sighed. “She never said she was sorry. She never admitted she was wrong. I forgave her, and she said nothing.” Jane hugged him then, and Carlos cried on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Jane said. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll be okay.” Carlos kissed her forehead. It was almost like they weren’t breaking up. But they had such a good friendship, so that hadn’t faded. Carlos let himself relax in her arms. 

The funeral was on a Tuesday. He sat up front between Jane and Evie. Mal and Ben were there too, along with a sprinkling of Auradon students that he knew. The Radcliffes hadn’t made an appearance, but to his surprise, they had sent flowers.

Jay, of course, wasn’t there. Carlos had sent a long e-mail telling him about Cruella’s death, and then a longer one telling Jay his feelings. He hadn’t gotten a replay to either. He tried not to think about it, instead facing forward.

It wasn’t a regular funeral. Nobody came up to speak about Cruella. Nobody said much at all. There was no minister, since Cruella didn’t give a damn about religion. Instead, there was just music, the old jazz records his mother had liked. Carlos thought about how fun it would be if they put “Cruella de Vil” on the stereo, and a smile twitched at his mouth.

It was brief. Soon they were all filing out the door. The burial was brief too. Carlos, Diego, Mal and a few funeral employees were the pallbearers. Then they just got her buried and got it over with. 

Afterwards, King Ben came up to them. “Hey,” he said. “Come to the castle, we’ve got a meal waiting.” Carlos looked unsure, and Ben said “It’s tradition to eat after funerals. It’s a way to look after the families in their time of need.” Carlos looked at Diego, and then nodded. Carlos had never known about this, but it was nice.

The castle was lavish as always. The food was delicious and there was too much of it. Carlos ate until his body was exhausted, then Ben led him to a guest room. “There, just rest,” he said. Carlos thanked him, and wondered why he’d never gone for Ben. Then he fell asleep.

He dreamed about Cruella. They weren’t good dreams.

…

Two days later, Diego met him at school and they went to look at the will. There were instructions to try to sell the house and split the money between himself and Diego. Cruella’s car had stopped running, but she still left it to Carlos. There was a loving paragraph describing all her furs before she left them to Carlos. Carlos couldn’t wait to sell those horrible things. Or burn them. 

Then he was given an envelope. When he opened it, it was the number for a safe. “What safe?” Carlos said. He’d never seen it.

Diego shrugged. “Maybe there’s a map to it.” Carlos looked, but there weren’t any. He just looked at Diego. “Hey, we can find it.” 

“I cleaned every inch of that house. We won’t find it.” But they went back and spent two days combing the house. Carlos checked the attic, the yard (such as it was) and even his tree house. No luck.

It was Diego who found it. “Goddamn, she hid it good,” he said, and he pulled out a floorboard in the kitchen. “I thought this one was squeaky.” Carlos helped his cousin pull it up, taking some more of the floor up too. Then he tried the number.

“I bet it’s fucking empty,” Diego said, just as Carlos opened it. Carlos had no idea what would be in it. But there was some jewelry, a few old bonds, and gold coins. “Wow. I had no idea she had these.” Carlos looked at them. The coins looked valuable. All of it did. 

“Can I have that bracelet?” Diego pointed to a handsome black onyx cuff. 

“Yep, you found the safe. And it suits you.” Diego took it and put it on his wrist. “I don’t know what to do with the rest. I’m not really a diamond necklace person.” 

“You sell it, is what you do. You cash in those bonds, the gold coins, the jewelry, and especially those fucking furs. Might be best to not tell buyers that they’re Cruella’s though. They might think they’re haunted.” Carlos looked at them, and Diego sighed. “Look. That bitch tortured you for years. You take all of her stuff, you sell it, and you stick the money in a bank so you can live off of it later. Get your own damn house. You don’t need keepsakes, okay?” 

“You’re keeping the bracelet though,” Carlos said. Diego grinned. 

“Because it’ll look better on me than her.” Carlos laughed. “And I don’t have many feelings attached to it. Carlos, you did everything you possibly could to make up with her. And she could only go so far to meet you. It’s over now.” 

Carlos felt the tears start, and Diego rubbed his shoulders. “It’ll be okay. Let’s just get this stuff and leave. We’ll fix the floor next time.” 

“I want to get some of mom’s books.” Diego sighed and stood up. 

“Next time. You need to get back. This place drives you crazy.” Carlos decided not to argue further, he put everything in a bag and they left. 

…

When Carlos got back, he curled up in his bed alone. Being alone was something he had been used to on the Isle, but he’d gotten so accustomed to Jay and his loudness and attention seeking. Now Jay was gone. He had gotten a short answer to his news that Cruella was dead, and that was it. Jay had moved on, it seemed. 

He cried for a while, wishing he could stop. Dude was with him, at least. He cuddled with his dog, and felt like nearly everyone had left him. Mal was planning her wedding. Evie was helping, but also involved with her relationship with Doug and her business. The pirates were self-contained. Nobody needed him for anything. 

Carlos was so miserable, he didn’t hear the door open at first. But Dude barked, and Carlos looked up.

Jay was there, in a red shirt and dark pants, looking down at him. “Am I too late?” Jay took a step towards the bed. “Carlos? Shit, you’re crying.” 

Carlos could only stare at Jay. He was dark from the sun, and seemed skinnier. He was beautiful. “I needed you,” Carlos said, and Jay winced. “And you were gone. What took you so long?”

“We were in the jungle, where Baloo the bear and all of them live. I didn’t have service until we got to Agrabath. I wound up calling Aziz for a favor, but I had no idea what to say to you. Then my phone broke. I know they’re lousy excuses but...I am so sorry. You didn’t need to go through this alone. I’m sorry.” Jay took a deep breath. “I got all your messages though.”

“Did you?” Jay nodded. “Including the one where I said I loved you?” Jay whimpered and crumpled in front of a the bed. “So, are you here to turn me down in person?”

“No,” Jay said, shaking his head. Carlos thought he saw tears welling in Jay’s eyes. “I didn’t know, I didn’t think you liked me back because of Jane, I am so sorry.” Jay looked up and slowly reached for Carlos’s hand. “So, am I too late?” Jay looked scared, vulnerable, not a look he saw often on him.

“I want to,” Carlos said. “But I’m so wiped out by all of this, I don’t even think there’s much left of me. But if you really want me...” Carlos took Jay’s hand. “Come up here with me.” He rubbed his thumb over Jay’s knuckles, then let go. 

Jay silently took off his shoes and then climbed into bed. Then he pulled Carlos into his arms, playing with his hair. Carlos took a deep breath, and his tears dried. He rested on Jay’s chest. “It’s just been so hard,” Carlos said. “I wish I missed her more, but mostly I feel relieved. I told her I forgave her.”

“What did she say?” Jay’s voice sounded like he already knew the answer.

“Not a thing. Wouldn’t even look at me. She didn’t admit any fault, ever. And I stayed with her when she was sick, I read to her, I told her I was doing okay. She didn’t care. But, she did tell me to tell you how I felt. I think that’s the only thing she ever did for me.” Carlos nuzzled into Jay’s chest, and he could feel Jay’s breath hitch.

“She knew about that. Huh.” Jay looked down at him. “I never thought she paid much attention to us. But...if she told you to be honest with me, maybe I can hate her less now.” Carlos felt relaxed finally, wanted to stay forever in Jay’s arms, but he had to ask him something first.

“Jay,” he said. “Tell me. Did you fuck Gil?” He looked up at Jay, wondering what the answer would be.

“We talked about it,” Jay said. He seemed nervous, but not ashamed. “Gil kind of sleeps with all of his friends. But I turned him down. It would have been so easy-we spent so much time together. But I couldn’t. I told him I liked someone else and he backed off.” 

Carlos felt relieved, even though if Jay had screwed Gil, he would have let that go. Jay wasn’t promised to him after all. But he was still glad that Jay had thought about him. He kissed Jay’s chest through his shirt, and Jay smiled. “Was he mad at you for cutting the trip short?” Jay shook his head. 

“I showed him the e-mail about your mom dying. Not the other one. He said he understood. Last I saw him, he’d gotten work on a ship in Argabah, to save up some money. And he was trying to send word to Jonas to come join him on the rest of the trip. He was fine.” 

“I was afraid you’d just take off with him for good,” Carlos said. “I mean, Gil’s good-looking and so sweet.” Jay tipped Carlos’s face up, and kissed him. Carlos shut his eyes, holding on to Jay’s arm. He’d thought about this for so long, and finally...finally. Jay broke it off and smiled at him.

“You’re sweeter,” Jay said. They kissed again, and then Carlos hid his face in Jay’s neck. “So, I missed the funeral and everything?”

“There wasn’t much to it,” Carlos said. “It was just a few people. And she left me in her will, Diego too. She actually still had some stuff to leave.” Carlos knew it was because she didn’t want anyone else to have her stuff, not because she loved them. “I’m going to sell the furs and give the money to animal shelters.” 

“That’s my boy,” Jay said, as he rubbed Carlos’s back. Carlos felt a thrill from Jay calling him that. “I love you. And I should never have missed it.” Carlos took Jay’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I missed you so much when we were exploring,” Jay said. “I thought you were okay, that Jane was taking care of you, or Evie and Mal.”

“Mal’s been too busy for me,” Carlos said. “I broke up with Jane, and she’s been great. We’re still friends. Evie’s been good. But mostly, Diego’s been the one getting me through this. He took care of all the stuff I couldn’t.” Carlos was silent for a minute. “I’m not mad at you, for not being here. Not now. But I missed you so much.”

“I’m going to talk to Mal later,” Jay said. “Maybe Evie too. I’ll help with whatever else you need help with,” Jay whispered. “I love you. Just let me know.” Jay looked down at him

Carlos smiled then. “Well...” he said. “We might need help fixing a hole in the floor at mom’s house.” Jay looked at him, and then laughed. Carlos had missed that laugh so much, and soon he was laughing too. He didn’t think he would, this soon after the funeral. But Jay was back with him, and he felt safe again.


End file.
